Gone are the days when people used to feel that love marriages is a forbidden practice and are now getting used to love marriages and accepting them as well. But now there is a new trend which is practiced by younger generation. That is called Live in relationship. This concept was started by European countries Long time ago but it got adopted in Asian Countries just couple of years back. Moreover it is predominantly found in metro cities.
Live in relationships means where two people live together in a relationship similar to marriage for the primary reason of checking their compatibility before tying the nuptial knot with each other. In some countries it is legalised for example in the United Kingdom, if two people are living together and are not married yet, they would still be treated as husband and wife. Their benefits and resources are also held common.
Generally couples live together for various reasons like sharing the finances, house and responsibilities. However our urban society has lost the faith in the institution of marriage because of so many separation cases so for them it is a way to make sure that the choice they are making is actually good for them. Modern day couples think that live in relationships is the final resort to ensure the success of their married life. But whether live in relationship is a blessing in disguise or a solution, we shall find out by looking at the pros and cons of the same.
Listed are the pros
1. Lesser account abilities and duties
The very important advantage is that people do not share the responsibilities of the finances or pleasing family or relatives. You can be just yourself as there is no pressure for pleasing the parents or extended families also you can divide the expenditure. The societal duties and the burden of families need not be shared and a person can actually enjoy his/her personal space in the relationship. There is absolutely no need to compromise and falling prey to social pressures.
2. Freedom to take decisions
The couples can make their decisions about anything without being dependent on their partners choice. E.g. switching jobs or investing money etc. Also you get the freedom from maintaining joint accounts like married couples do. They have lot of financial freedom and this comes from the fact that they split their finances and keep a vigil eye on income and expenditure. If both of them are in a relationship they might as well be spending on each other but they give each other enough space to spend as they like. Both the partners enjoy this freedom.
3. Compatibility test
People in cohabitation generally get lot of time to know each other’s nature and temperament. This makes it easier for them to take a decision of getting married with their live in partner. People get to check their emotional and physical compatibility. It is even advised by relationship experts to get into a live in relationship so that one can make an accurate judgment as it is practically not possible for your partner to be fake all the time if you are living together. Therefore it is not a bad idea to test the strength of a relationship. It is also very important due to the fact that separation and divorce cases are also increasing day by day.
4. Legal obligations
Live in relationships are usually free of legal obligations of any kind. If you are not happy with your partner and you feel that there is no scope of improvement, you can easily walk out of the relationship and there will be no legal harassment like divorce filing etc. People find it easier to go through a heartbreak but it is very difficult to face the social Stigma of divorce. Living in provides an emotional stability to a person which is very important.
5. Equality and mutual understanding
People in live in relationships are very practical in approach and they feel that they are both equally responsible parties to the relationship. Also both are not dependent on each other financially, emotionally or legally since the door out of the relationship is always open, both the partners make an extra effort to show their dedication and loyalty in the relationship to make it more secure.
With these pros comes a lot of cons. Listed below
1. Lack of commitment
People don’t pledge themselves to each other. Coming out of this relationship is very easy and convenient for both. Anything trivial can lead to break up and walking out. It is very unlikely that these people make amendments in themselves and seek solutions to make the relationship work. These relationships are not permanent; couples just meet, enjoy and then leave each other without any vow for lifetime togetherness. There’s no stability and couples usually breakup easily.
2. Lack the respect and stability of marriage
People often lack the trust in the institution of marriage and thus feel that live in relationship is an easier way to come out. They don’t see the stability marriage can bring in their lives. Personal and financial freedom has made them so selfish that they don’t want to take the burden of marriage.
3. Societal pressure and criticism
The couples living in together become a butt of jokes. They are criticized for their choices of live in. Since this concept started few years back, the society and the elderly members are not willing to accept this and they try to divide the couples on various grounds like caste, religion, class and what not. Due to these rigid societal pressures and the stubborn judgmental perspectives also, couples tend to break their relationship.
4. Receiving end
Usually, women are on the receiving end of this failed relationship. It becomes very difficult for her to find a suitable groom if her relationship doesn’t work well. Also, women suffer a lot biologically and emotionally. Plus, the society, which is already against this concept, makes it very difficult for women to survive if she goes against the laid down conventions of the society. She has to bear the brunt of this relationship. Also, if there are any kids that are born from the live in relationship, he/she is treated with utmost hatred and disrespect. Plus there are legal issues regarding the custody of the child. If the male partner moves out, the women only need to take the full responsibility of the upbringing of her child. Apart from this, there shall be no inheritance for these kids from their father’s or mother’s side since this relationship has no legal sanctity.
5. What’s permanent
Nature, behaviour, temperament, attitude everything changes in partners after marriage.
Over a period of time, when a person takes hold of the responsibility of a family, he/she can’t be as carefree as live-in days. So comparisons of current behaviour with those days can lead to stress and frustration.
We can safely state that relationships have become a questionable and complex thing to understand. Marriage is also required by the society however the modern generation is busy finding the suitable ways to safeguard their relationship by entering into various test-run techniques. It has become a trend in big cities.